We use essential oils for a myriad of uses, be it an upset tummy or a thought-swollen mind—but are you aware of the power of essential oils in the bedroom? Whether it’s due to stress, medication, or any other factor, a majority of humans experience a low or sluggish sex drive. If you can relate to this, know that natural therapies are a great option for adding some spice into your sexy time.

It deserves reiteration: low sex drives are completely normal. Women can experience sporadic sex drives in all ages of life (thanks, fluctuating hormones) and men tend to see low libido in the form of erectile dysfunction as they get older. There are two things we suggest: One, talk about it! Talk to your friends, other women, or find a community. It truly helps to know you aren’t alone… Because trust us, you aren’t!

The second way is, as we mentioned, natural therapies. For instance, finding ways to decrease your stress levels, get more sleep, exercising, and adding healthy aphrodisiacs into your meals are all ways to boost libido naturally.

Essential oils are beneficial for many reasons: cooling oils help to calm the nervous system and clear a chaotic mind, while warming oils can excite and open space for passion and communication. Scent, like sex, is sensual. It helps to ease the mind and body, making you more readily available to a physical experience.

Belonging and Connection 

Helichrysum – Promotes the transformation of shock and trauma, promotes emotional security and strength, and promotes emotional stability and calm. 

Ylang Ylang – Disinhibits and sensualizes, enhances self-esteem, and promotes euphoria and optimism;

Cedarwood –  Known as “the oil of community,” cedarwood inspires the feeling of belonging and assists the heart in opening to receive love and support.

Belonging and connection are essential in establishing a healthy sex life. These feelings help draw you into your partner and establish comfort and communication. Some people find the scent of Helichrysum straight-up funky, but the therapeutic value of this yellow flower’s essential oil is impressive (as well as its incredible litany of uses to clarify and restore skin), and has been associated with a sense of belonging. When blended with the highly sweet aroma of Ylang Ylang, prepare to be bowled over the heady floral combo. Cedarwood cuts the sweetness slightly, and gives a tonic base note that grounds you in the midst of that floral swoon.

Suggested Use: For a very real world scenario, let’s say you and your partner are both swept up with busy schedules, working until 8pm and barely having a chance to talk until you hit the hay. Put a drop of each scent in your palm with a teaspoon of carrier oil, rub hands together, inhale deeply, and then spread the blend on the nape of your neck and shoulders, giving yourself a slight massage to ease tension, then get outside for a quick walk to invigorate your body and change your focus. The aroma of this blend is so utterly pleasant that when used methodically, you’ll soon train your brain to switch tracks and switch to a sense of connection. Absorb the scent, breathe in your partner, and carry on. 

Sensuality

Jasmine – Known as “the oil of sexual purity and balance”, jasmine nurtures healthy sexuality and helps to balance sexual forces. Arouses dormant passions, and is said to cultivate positive intimate experiences by encouraging self-acceptance, trust, and safety.

Clary Sage – Calms the mind, promotes relaxation and mild euphoria; the antidote to sexual disinterest.

Cinnamon – Considered “the oil of sexual harmony”, cinnamon supports the reproductive system, dispels fear of rejection and nurtures healthy sexuality. Rekindles sexual energy, and promotes letting go of jealousy or control.

It’s really all about the jasmine here. Known for centuries as one of the most intoxicating scents on earth, it has rightly been lauded as an aphrodisiac and a general feel-good aroma. But it is also very precious (my euphemism for very expensive), due to the fact that jasmine flowers have to be harvested early in the morning before the buds have had time to fully open, else the flowers rapidly lose their volatile aromatic compounds upon blossoming. Even a single hour can result in a dramatic loss of the overall essential oil content of jasmine’s petals. When we blend it with the feminine scent of clary sage (whose main chemical component, linalyl acetate, makes it a master for soothing and relaxing) and just a hint of cinnamon (for metabolic boost and circulatory warmth), this combo should deliver the sensual mindset you’re seeking.

Suggested use: You could use this trio of oils either aromatically or topically. Keep in mind that aromatic usage (ie. via diffuser, a homemade spray or applied to palms and inhaled) will first affect the brain, which will signal responses in the hormonal system. Applying topically will actually create a warming sensation, due largely to the cinnemaldehyde content of cinnamon, increasing blood flow and skin sensitivity. Be sure to dilute the trio of oils above in a carrier oil before applying them, and the aroma resonates best at a 3-2-1 ratio of jasmine, clary sage and cinnamon. Once diluted in a carrier oil, apply to pulse points and across the lower belly, to activate the second chakra, seat of sensuality.

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affirmations for self love

Affirmations are generally present-tense and positive, but more important than anything is that you FEEL them:

I choose to deeply and completely love, honor, and respect myself.

I lovingly release the past and all that does not serve me.

I release all limiting beliefs of Who I Am.

I am worthy and deserving of love and respect.

I release others from the need to care for me. I meet my own needs with love.

I teach others how to love me by how well I love myself.

It is safe for me to say “yes” to my needs.

It is actually preferred that I am healthy and balanced.

I am deeply supported in my own well-being.

I am whole and complete and more than enough.

I easily prioritize my needs and my wants each day and week.

Self-care is selfless.

The more I give to myself the more I have to give to others.

I easily show up and speak up for myself.

My self-love gives others permission to love themselves too.

All is well in my world.

Use these affirmations daily, or when you feel yourself slipping up. Journal them 100x, say them out loud, and even find ways to work them into your conversations. Most importantly, every. single. time. your mind starts to spin into negative thoughts – whether it’s about what you deserve or whether others will allow it – answer those limiting thoughts with these affirmations. The more you use them, the more you reprogram your thought patterns, your habits, and thus your reality.

A

Align: Alignment, harmony, self-acceptance, openness
Amavi: Strength, stability, anxiousness, accepting the masculine, integrity, emotional clarity.
Anchor: Courage, scatteredness, rooted, stable, calm, clear
Arborvitae: Spiritual trust, control issues, etc
Arise: Next level growth, clarity, etc
AromaTouch: Workaholism, flow, worry, etc
Aspire: Focus, clarity, goal-getting, etc

B

Balance: Grounding, overwhelm, etc
Basil: Extreme stress, adrenals, renewal, etc
Beautiful: Love, peace, support, sorrow, etc
Bergamot: Self-acceptance, self-approval, self-everything
Birch: Stabilization, resolve, etc
Black Pepper: Honesty, emotional repression, etc
Blue Tansy: Inspired action, commitment, purpose, etc
Brave: Courage, heart, integrity, etc
Breathe: Grief, breathing in, letting go

C

Calmer: Rest, peacefulness, etc
Cardamom: Objectivity, anger, rationalism
Cassia: Self-assurance, social anxiousness, etc
Cedarwood: Community, support, belonging, etc
Cheer: Happiness, hope, encouragement, etc
Cilantro: Controlling, toxicity, worry, etc
Cinnamon: Body acceptance, sexual harmony, intimacy, etc
Citrus Bliss: Creativity, self-expression, money mindset, etc
Clary Calm: Femininity, energetic balance, etc
Clary Sage: Confusion, clarity, intuition, etc
Clove: Boundaries, victim mentality, empowerment, etc
Console: Grief, sadness, meditation, warmth, etc
Copaiba: Unveiling, worthiness, renewed purpose, etc
Coriander: Integrity, inner wisdom, intuitive “no”, etc
Cumin: Non-attachment, releasing toxic energy, etc
Cypress: Feeling stuck, movement and flow, unblocking, etc

D

DDR Prime: Transformation, renewal, healing, etc
Deep Blue: Letting go of pain, overreacting, etc
DigestZen: “Digesting” life, fear, anxiousness, etc
Dill: Understanding, rationale, engagement, etc
Douglas Fir: Generational wisdom, releasing the past, etc
Dream: Vision, hope, connection to our dreams, etc

E

Elevation: Dark night of the soul, sadness, overwhelm, etc
Eucalyptus: Wellness, connecting to self-care, etc

F

Fennel: Taking responsibility, releasing shame, etc
Forgive: Forgiving self, others, and what is, letting go
Frankincense: Love, Light, Truth, and spiritual connection

G

Geranium: Love, trust, compassion, softening the heart
Ginger: Empowerment, independence, embodiment, etc
Grapefruit: Body-image, self-love, emotional eating, etc
Green Mandarin: Reclaiming joy, letting go of toxic patterns, etc

H

Harvest Spice: Healthy family gatherings and personal integrity
Hawaiian Sandalwood: Letting go of ego, resistance, and attachments
HD Clear: Anger, perfectionism, self-worth, etc
Helichrysum: Emotional wounds, growing through pain, healing, etc
Hinoki: Slowing down, releasing pressure from yourself, etc
Holiday Joy: Celebration, joy, connection, etc
Holiday Peace: Security, feeling safe, upheld, etc
Hope: Self-love, connection with higher self, overcoming, etc

I

Immortelle: Spiritual insight and connection, meditation, etc
InTune: Presence, focus, concentration, mental clarity, etc

J

Jasmine: Old trauma, luxury, beauty, etc
Juniper Berry: Digging deep, limiting beliefs, shedding light, etc

K

Kumquat: Authenticity, presence, cheerfulness, etc

L

Lavender: Communication, trust, calming, rest, etc
Lemon: Focus, capability, positivity, etc
Lemon Myrtle: Scattered, frustration, resentment, coming back to joy, etc
Lemongrass: Energetic vampires, negativity, negative attachment, etc
Lime: Zest for life, energizing, good for loss of interest, etc
Limitless: Success, self-worth, confidence, boldness, etc
Litsea: Manifestation, releasing limiting beliefs, etc

M

Magnolia: Receiving love, anxiousness from heart center, etc
Manuka: Raising vibrations, uplifting, gratitude, etc
Marjoram: Connection, empathy, removes heart walls, etc
Melaleuca (Tea Tree): Energetic boundaries, toxic people, negative emotions, etc
Melissa (Lemon Balm): Increasing love, light, truth, faith, hope
Motivate: Motivation, energy, stamina, enthusiasm, etc
Myrrh: Connection to Mother Earth, Feminine Divine, healing, etc

N

Neroli: Deepening self-care, partnership, co-dependency, etc

O

One: Coming together, increasing collaboration, healthy relationships, etc
OnGuard: Protection, immunity, inner strength, etc
Oregano: Humility, removes limiting beliefs, free at last, etc

P

Passion: Inspiration, boredom, libido, etc
PastTense: Tension, stress, head and neck, etc
Patchouli: Connection to the body, body acceptance, etc
Peace: Calming nerves, communicating clearly, public speaking, etc
Peppermint: Optimism, energy, playfulness, etc
Petitgrain: Breaking chains, releasing energy, clearing space, etc
Pink Pepper: Limiting beliefs, releasing toxic patterns, etc
Purify: Cleansing toxic spaces, clean slate, mental clarity, etc

R

Radiant: Radiant self-expression, purpose, etc
Red Mandarin: Joy, mindfulness, presence, releasing stress and worry
Rescuer: Anxiousness, fear, tension, guilt, shame, etc
Roman Chamomile: Purpose, meaning, significance, vision, etc
Rose: High vibration, unconditional love, meditation, etc
Rosemary: Handling transitions, wisdom, mental clarity, etc

S

Sandalwood: Quieting the mind, sacred practices, spiritual depth, etc
Serenity: Rest, worry, overstimulation, calming, etc
Siberian Fir: Maturity, perspective, wisdom, flexibility through life, etc
Slim & Sassy: Self-love/worth, body acceptance, feeling good in your skin, etc
Spearmint: Speaking up, confidence, communication, etc
Spikenard: Spiritual protection through warfare, gratitude, safety, etc
Star Anise: Fear, dread, anxiousness, etc
Steady: Nervous, anxious, shyness, shrinking away, etc
Stronger: Resiliency, protection, feeling supported, etc
Sunny Citrus: Happiness, contentment, getting unstuck, emotional energy, etc

T

Tangerine: Happiness, slowing down and enjoying life, etc
TerraShield: Shields and defends against harmful energy
Thinker: Focus, clarity, mental energy, confusion, memory, etc
Thyme: Empathy, tolerance, resentment, anger, etc
Turmeric: Communication, processing information, moving forward, etc

V

Vetiver: Going within, deeply stabilizing, restorative, etc

W

Whisper: Gentleness, grace, feminine connection, etc
White Fir: Breaking habits, ancestral healing, growth, etc
Wild Orange: Abundance, creativity, money mindset, etc
Wintergreen: Surrender, trust, stubbornness, resistance, etc

Y-Z

Yarrow/Pom: Healing the past, uplifting, calming, etc
Ylang Ylang: Opens the heart center, childlike joy and wonder, etc
Zendocrine: Detoxing emotions on a physical level

Additional Resources

Sensual Massage Balm by The Whole Daily

Cinnamon Gummy Treats - PlanToEat

Bath Bomb Tags for Valentine’s Gifts

Vanessa Jean is an amazing Blend Creator. You can find her on Food Alchemy, She also co-authored Gifts of the Essential oils